I wish I could pinpoint exactly when Sparks became my favorite band. I first learned of their existence in college through all the Gilmore Girls references (creator Amy Sherman-Palladino is a big fan). When Lorelai and Luke start dating, he asks her for a list of music he should listen to, and she mentions Sparks ("especially the new one.") When Rory visits Lane to borrow some CDs, Lane gives her a Sparks album to listen to.
Just as Lorelai is about to begin making alterations to Lane's wedding dress, she spills coffee on it with "Angst In My Pants" playing. Logan receives a phone call in his dorm room while listening to "Suburban Homeboy." The best comes in the episode where lots of troubadours take over the town. There were several cameos by actual musicians in that episode including Yo La Tango, Sonic Youth, and, of course, Sparks, who are rudely interrupted by Taylor Doose in the middle of their performance of "Perfume."
I remember looking them up around that time. Google's search results showed a band from the early '70s and I remember thinking, "There must be more than one band with that name." They aged so well, I assumed Sparks was a mid-to-late '80s indie band; if they were in their 40s around the early 2000s, how could they possibly be the same band from the '70s?
I always seemed to barely miss them; there was always some other band that caught more of my attention. I remember when the Lil' Beethoven album and "I Married Myself" single was released. They also released an album through their side project with Franz Ferdinand in 2015.
Sometimes things just find us at the right time. If I forced myself to listen to their catalog at a different time in my life, their music might not have had the same effect on me as it did over the past six years. The first Sparks album I remember listening to fully is Hippopotamus.
Watching The Sparks Brothers for the first time in theaters was when the Mael brothers began to have a substantial impact on me and how I went about my life. It was June 2021 and the only local theater showing the film was Amherst Cinema. The capacity for their showings was limited due to the pandemic, but I was surprised when the film started and I was the only person in the theater. It turns out they only allowed one party per showing, regardless if it was one person or 10.
When it finished, I was amazed at what I had just seen. Their creativity, their story, and their refusal to give up. It was electrifying! I remember driving to a Vietnamese restaurant afterward to pick up dinner. As I waited in the car for my order, I tried to articulate how I felt by sharing my feelings on Instagram. It was moving, one of those experiences that shake things up inside you. I felt different after I left the theater as if permanently changed.
The last time I felt this inspired was when I saw the Tim Burton exhibit at the LACMA in 2011. I remember feeling so full of inspiration that I was restless; as if I had something inside me that needed to get out. Watching The Sparks Brothers gave me a similar feeling only it was deeper. It shook me to my core and made me see life in a different way.
In the time since I have found work to be frustrating. Office politics and the priority to make money (at the expense of employees) made me, once again, reconsider everything. It's hard to drop a career you've worked and grown in for the past 11 years. Life and responsibilities won't allow for it financially. I know money isn't everything, but when you live on your own, when there's one income in your household, you have to think differently. I don't want to replace anxiety over my career with anxiety over my finances.
I was talking through this with my therapist and one feeling that kept coming up was privilege. I am privileged to be able to lead the life I have, privileged at how far I've come. To give it all up feels like I'm being ungrateful. I've been talking to friends who do not have a traditional job, who found a way to quit the monotony of the 9 to 5. I have an urge to drastically change things up.
This urge came after I watched The Sparks Brothers. Their refusal to give up during trying times in their career, their need to make the music they wanted to make, and not follow whatever the trend was during the time, and their ability to always bounce back is inspiring. Several years after its release, The Sparks Brothers and Ron and Russell's story are still there, in the back of my mind, always reminding me not to settle and to fight for what's worth having.
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
– Leo Tolstoy
Screenshot from The Sparks Brothers documentary. Other photos by Jackie Habib